The Question: My friends and I are planning to come up and ski this weekend for the day. We thought it would be something fun and new to do, but we've never skied before. Ever. What do I need to know?

This is a new section SAM has lovingly ripped off from our friends over at Snowboard Trade News (with their permission, of course). Snowboard Trade News runs a feature called "Shop Spy: Infiltrating retail shops to expose the quality of customer service." Shop Spy is revealing and, all too often, hilariously funny...in a depressing way.

So, we thought it would be great to start our own top-level spy organization to find out how ski areas stack up on the service front. Our intern, Liz Eren, was the 007 on this first case and her results are, well, nothing if not inconsistent. For this question, we picked a random geographic mix, as well as a mix of small, medium and large areas. Liz rated her experiences on a scale from one to ten.

So thanks to Snowboard Trade News editor Brad Farmer, and if you haven't seen their magazine already, it's worth a look. Check out www.snowboardtradenews.com for more information.


Mountain 1: California, Large day Area

First contact: automated answering machine, 10 options, picked guest services. Put on hold for 10 seconds. No song.

Answering phone: young female. Nice, friendly. Talked too fast.

SAM: Question Stated

Staff: Whew. Ok. Wait. What do you need to know. You can have two one-hour-and-forty-five-minute lessons with an eight-hour lift ticket and rental package for $75. Everything is included in that package. Can you hold for one second?

SAM: Sure. (Put on hold for 10 seconds.)

Staff: OK. Hi. So the whole package will give you what you need.

SAM: OK, great. Thanks. But what should I wear-I'm just not sure?

Staff: You'll want to wear waterproof clothing. Something warm. You might want a beanie and gloves too, we're expecting a storm this weekend.

SAM: All good tips. Thank you.

Staff: No problem.

Rating: 3

Comment: This women seemed like she was under the pressure of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" and just rambled off the first thing that came to mind. Friendly, but not helpful enough for a dead beginner.

Mountain 2: Quebec, Large Area

First contact: automated answering machine, English and French. Pressed 2 for English. 7 options, picked option 5 for guest services.

Answering phone: male. Slight accent. Very friendly and patient

SAM: question stated

Staff: The best for you that I can offer, first, is for you to learn to ride or ski. We have a package that includes a 90-minute lesson, ski rental and a lift ticket. After your lesson you can keep the rentals and lift ticket for rest of day. The whole package costs $80 and 95 cents. There's morning lessons at 9:15 and 11 o'clock. I would advise going to one of the morning lessons so you can use the equipment for the rest of the day. And you'll want to be there about 45 minutes before your lesson starts. However there is an afternoon lesson at 1:15 and that package is $66 and 22 cents.

SAM: Wow. That all sounds really good. But I don't really know what to wear.

Staff: Where are you from? Do you know cold weather at all?

SAM: Well yeah, I'm from Montreal. I've just never skied before, so I don't know what to wear for that.

Staff:OK. Well, ahh, I would suggest a winter suit. Meaning snow pants, jacket, lots of layers.

SAM: Can I rent them or do I need to buy them?

Staff: Oh you can rent them here! There's no problem. Pause. It's about $45 to rent the clothes. You can get them from the rental shop, the same place you get your equipment. We can also book everything on the phone or online or you can just go to the rental counter.

SAM Perfect. So when I get there, where should I go first?

Staff: You can go right to the rental shop. They'll provide your equipment, clothing and your instructor will come get you from there. It's located in the upper part of the village. Right on the right hand side when you walk up the stairs through the village.

SAM: Thanks so much.

Staff: No Problem. Bye Bye.

Rating: 8.5

Comment: Thorough enough that I felt like I might be able to tackle skiing for the first time after talking to this person. They also suggested that I take a lesson, they didn't ask if I wanted to, which was good. But I'm picky and there was no mention of hat or gloves. Minus 1.5

Mountain 3: So. California, Large Day Area

First Contact: Automated answering machine, 10 options, picked guest services. Put on hold for 10 seconds. No song.
Answering phone: Young female. Nice, friendly. Talked too fast.

SAM: Question Stated

Staff: Whew. OK. Wait. What do you need to know. You can have two one-hour-and-45-minute lessons with an 8-hour lift ticket and rental package for $75. Everything is included in that package. Can you hold for one second?

SAM: Sure. (Put on hold for 10 seconds. )

Staff: OK. Hi. So the whole package will give you what you need.

SAM: OK, great. Thanks. But what should I wear? I'm just not sure.

Staff: You'll want to wear waterproof clothing. Something warm. You might want a beanie and gloves too, we're expecting a storm this weekend.

SAM: All good tips. Thank you.

Staff: No problem.

Rating: 3

Comment: This women seemed like she was under the pressure of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” and just rambled off the first thing that came to mind. Friendly, but not helpful enough for a rank beginner.


Mountain 4: Colorado, Large Area

First Contact: Automated, 9 options, chose customer service.

Answering phone: Young male. Very nice and friendly.

SAM: Question stated

Staff: About skiing in general?

SAM: Well, yes. I'm looking to come skiing for the first time there.

Staff: I'm going to give you the ski school number, they'll be able to help you out.

Answering phone: Female. Friendly and patient.

SAM: Question restated

Staff: Umm (pause) lessons in general?

SAM: Yes I'll probably take one because I've never skied before.

Staff: OK, are you coming from the Denver area?

SAM: Yes, we're coming from Denver.

Staff: Well then the closest ski school is called XXX. It's right off the XXX exit when you're coming here. You just follow the signs. They do beginner classes for $145 for the whole day. It's $165 if you want to include rental equipment. Did you want rentals?

SAM: Yes. I don't have any of my own equipment, so I will need rentals.

Staff: OK, then the beginner area is at the bottom of hill when you first come, so you won’t need to travel far. You should be there at 8:30 because it'll be crowded. Then the lesson goes from 9:45 until 3:30. When you get there, they'll set you up with rental equipment and tickets. Is that about all you need to know?

SAM: Almost I think. I've just never been before so what exactly should I wear?

Staff: Um, you will need to bring wet weather pants and a jacket. Gloves, hat and goggles.

SAM: If I don't have any of those can I rent any of it from you, or do I have to buy it?

Staff: Well you can rent it from us, but it's at the opposite end of the mountain. Other than that you should be all set.

SAM: All right, that all sounds good. Thank you very much.

Rating: 6

Comment: Great tips on exactly where to go. But there was an assumption by the first contact that I should talk to ski school, without explaining (or asking) why I should. Also, clothing rental on the other side of the mountain. . .too overwhelming for a beginner. Good cover on the clothing essentials, though, and very friendly.


Mountain 5: Pennsylvania, Medium Area

First Contact: Automated service. Stayed on the line for operator.

SAM: Question stated

Staff: Um. Hold on. Transferred to rental services.

Answering phone: Young male. Nice, but very unenthusiastic.

SAM: Question restated

Staff: Umm, when you do come up to rent with us you have to leave us a driver's license. Then all you need to know is your height, weight and ability. There are three types of ability: beginner, intermediate and advanced. Just as long as you know that, you'll be all set. (Pause) So yeeaah.

SAM: OK. Well, is that all I need to know? I've never gone skiing before. What about clothes?

Staff: People wear different things. Snowsuits, snowmobile suits. Whatever. Everyone wears different things. (Hahaha. Yeah, let’s try skiing in a snowmobile suit.)

SAM: Well, I don't own snow pants. Can I rent them or should I buy them?

Staff: You'll have to buy it. We don't rent it. You can wear regular pants if you want but I wouldn't advise it.

SAM: You also said goggles, but I don't have any, either. I'll just buy them I guess?

Staff: That's fine. Some people don't even wear goggles. Some just ski with pants and jackets. (Held the phone away to laugh out loud a little. Really? Just pants and a jacket?) OK?

SAM: Yeah, that all sounds pretty good. Where should I go first when I get there?

Staff: Rental shop. You can purchase your tickets and rentals and we'll set everything up there. The clothes are cheaper if you buy them off the mountain. Just know your shoe size for boot fittings. That's about it, though.

Rating: 3

Comment: Driver’s license is really the first thing you tell someone to bring that’s never skied before? And snowmobile suit? Now throw in the comment about cheaper clothes off the mountain? Big no-no, even if you are trying to be that honest guy admitting mountain prices are sky high.


Mountain 6: Montana, Large Area

First Contact: Automated answering machine. 4 options, waited for operator.

Answering phone: Young female. Friendly.

SAM: Question stated.

Staff: Uh well… I'm not really certain, but let me transfer you to our guest ski services.

SAM: OK, thanks.

Next Staff: Young male. Sounded like he just woke up after a night of drinking...and was still drunk.

SAM: Question restated

Staff: Uuuhhh. (Pause) Do you have skis?

SAM: No.

Staff: Do you want to take a lesson?

SAM: I don't know. Should I?

Staff: Uuhh, well, if you want. I didn't take a lesson when I learned how to ski and, uh, I'm pretty good. I catch onto things fast. (Long pause--my laughing started at this point.)

SAM: OK, well, what do you think I should do?

Staff: Ummm. (Really long pause) I would probably take a, uhh, lesson. I think you can get one of those, uhhh, whatchamacallits, uhh, packages I think, for a lesson. You need to go to rental and get skis and then go to the ski school. (Just stops talking.)

SAM: OK, well that's all great. Thanks. But what should I be wearing?

Staff: Ummm. Snow pants and a jacket.

SAM: OK. Can I rent those or do I need to buy them?

Staff: Uhh, well we don't really rent out clothes here anymore. And it's prolly cheaper if you buy that stuff around from where you are. It'll be cheaper than at the mountain.

SAM: Oookay. Well where do I go first when I get there? Is there a main building or where should I go?

Staff: Ski school I think.

SAM: Where's that?

Staff: Uhh. The Plaza. Second level of that building.

SAM: Wow. OK. Thank you.

Staff: Yeah dude, anytime.

Rating: -3. But 10 for the entertainment.

Comment: There really are no words to describe the customer service rep. Drunk, high, ate too many paint chips as a kid? Who knows.


Mountain 7: British Columbia, Day Area

First Contact: Young female. Friendly.

SAM: Question stated

Staff: Let me put you through to guest services. They'll help you.

Answering phone: Male. Accent. Very nice. Patient.

SAM: Question restated

Staff: Well you've never been skiing?

SAM: No I haven't.

Staff: Are you going to take a lesson?

SAM: I think I'll probably take a lesson first, yeah.

Staff: Well, ah, OK then. You can get a lesson, rental and lift for $99 plus tax. And what I'm saying, rental will include boots, skis and poles. But it does not include clothing.

SAM: I was actually going to ask you about that. I'm guessing I would need snow pants but I don't have any. I didn't know if I could rent them.

Staff: You can rent the jacket and snow pant. They are $25. We don't rent gloves, goggles or helmet though. So you should provide that. Also, bring some thicker socks.

SAM: When I come, where exactly should I go first?

Staff: Well it depends. If you want lesson, you have different choices. You can book it with me, so you won’t have to come to guest services. Or you can also come and do a drop-in to try it out and pay when you arrive. I would suggest to book ahead. However, don't book too much ahead, because any drop-in lesson, it's not refundable. So I would first look at the weather to make sure it'll be OK for you. And that your health conditions will be OK. And then I would book it. If it's weekend days we have lessons from 10 to 12, 12 to 2, and 2 to 4. We also have some lessons during week but those are only 12 to 2.

SAM: OK. Well if I just plan to come that day, where should I go first?

Staff: What I would suggest before coming is I would call to make sure we have space. I suggest on weekends to come two hours before the lesson because there will be lines. To make sure you'll be on time for lesson you want to be here two hours before.

SAM: When I get there though, where should I go first?
Staff: When you come to the parking level there will be guest services right there.

Rating: 9.9

Comment: Minus .1 for asking if I wanted a lesson. Other than that, extremely polite, talked slowly, tried his hardest to speak clearly enough for me to understand. Covered the clothing rental before I had to ask. He also covered all the options. More so, he was considerate enough to let me know to check the weather before I came and to see if lessons were available. Gave the most information out of anyone.

Identity Revealed: Grouse Mountain